One may find it odd, but crying during sex is a common phenomenon occurring among males and females. In today's piece, discover the reasons behind your tears during sex or after orgasm!
Is It Normal to Cry During Sex or After Orgasm?
Medically speaking, crying during sex is called postcoital tristesse (PCT); before we go into that, let's look at what happens to the body during an orgasm.
During the climactic release, several areas of the brain "light up,” which includes the sensory input regions in the genitalia, as well as the areas responsible for secreting oxytocin (the "love hormone") and dopamine (a natural high). These chemical responses amplify the emotional responses that accompany an orgasm.
Sex and orgasm are more than just a physical reaction, and they might elicit strong feelings as well. Women shed tears of happiness during climax while others cry for the exact opposite reason. This is referred to as postcoital dysphoria (PCD) with anger, aggression, anxiety, etc., as symptoms.
Crying can be purely a reaction during or after sex. Also, the frequency with which people cry during sex varies.
Hence, crying orgasm or crying during sex doesn’t always signify sorrow and if you’ve ever cried during or after sex, know that it’s perfectly normal and you’re not alone. Crying can be purely a reaction during or after sex.
Crying Sex- Why You Might Cry During Sex?
Sex is an intensely emotional and intimate experience for many people. When someone is having sex, they may feel various feelings, ranging from pleasure to joy. Some people may become so overwhelmed by their emotions that they cry.
But when someone cries during sex, the first question that comes to mind is “Why?” especially when tears come out spontaneously. While most people connect crying with sadness, it can also be used to express joy.
Below are a few reasons why you might cry during sex-
1. Due to the Body's Overwhelming Response
Intense physical, sexual pleasure can be overwhelming and can easily make anyone cry. Also, the opposite of the same can be surprising too. If one has been looking forward to having great sex, but it doesn’t happen that way, it may cause crying during sex, but that’d be due to frustration and anger.
2. Due to Relationship Issues
If the emotional complications in a couple come all on the head during sex and one starts thinking of ending the relationship or breaking from it, then crying during sex can occur as it is also an indication of relationship issues.
3. Due to Hormonal Changes
During sex, the body releases hormones like oxytocin and dopamine that induce sensations of relaxation and contentment. However, due to hormonal changes as well as the physical and emotional intensity of sex, one might end up crying during sex.
Also, the body undergoes hormonal changes in conditions like menopause, premenstrual syndrome (PMS), pregnancy, or during any fertility treatment, which might also cause crying sex.
4. Due to Anxiety or Stress
Crying is a natural response to stress, worry, and fear. It's difficult to put the nervousness aside to have sex when one feels anxious. And when the body is in the same motion, and the mind is out somewhere else, you find yourself crying while having sex.
5. Due to Biological Response
As per the study, it is seen that PCD affects somewhere between 32 and 46 per cent of females. However, there hasn't been much investigation done to figure out why. It could be related to hormonal changes during sex, which can cause intense feelings. Crying could also be a strategy for releasing tension and lowering the sexual intensity.
Crying Sex- Why You Might Cry During Sex?
Crying during or after sex might sound strange. But rest assured, it is quite normal. There are several reasons why your eyes could start watering during or after sex. We have listed some of them below.
Intimacy
Sex is one of the most intimate activities that you can indulge in with your partner. Connecting your body with someone you are attracted to can invoke deep feelings. According to research, sexual activity makes our brain release hormones called oxytocin or love hormones. This Oxytocin rush can induce crying as a physiological response.
Deep emotions
It is common to indulge in sex to escape some of our deeper feelings. Crying during sex can be a way to cue you into some of your deeper feelings like anxiety or anger. These feelings towards a partner might manifest through tears.
Post-coital dysphoria
Sex often leads to the release of stress or emotions. Orgasming can trigger a release of pent up emotions like anguish and sorrow. This, in turn, leaves a woman feeling sad and depressed after sex. Some journals refer to this condition as PCD or post-coital dysphoria. PCD can be an indication of your actual feelings about your partner, relationship or even yourself.
Also read: Best sex positions for a female orgasm
Crying Sex- Why Women Cry During Sex?
Crying is never the part of the picture when you see yourself having fantastic sex with your partner, but sometimes it happens, and you might feel surprised as per the situation.
There can be different reasons for a woman having crying sex. Some can be beautiful while others can be heartbreaking like-
1. Due to Cheating of the Partner
When a partner cheats in a relationship, the woman finds it difficult to sleep and will cry during sex, comparing her attributes to those of the other woman and how she cannot please her lover.
2. Due to Physical Pain and Emotional Frustration
If a woman is suffering from any health condition like vaginismus, she might feel discomfort while having sex with her partner resulting in crying sex.
3. Due to Sexual Abuse or Trauma
If a woman has experienced sexual abuse or sexual trauma, she may find it difficult to feel more comfortable having sex with her partner. She may also have emotional triggers that cause her to cry during sex. In such instances, it's critical to seek treatment and support to heal and regain the confidence to enjoy sexual intimacy.
4. Due to Passionate Sex
When couples are really in love and have passionate sex, women crying during sex or crying after sex is likely to happen because it causes the release of a wide range of emotions.
Why do Men Cry During Sex?
Depression
Men with depression are more likely to undergo a feeling of profound melancholy after or during sex. Psychological stress can be triggered by sexual intimacy and might require professional help to improve the symptoms.
Lowering of inhibitions
Men are often taught not to show genuine emotions. However, experiencing intimacy during sex can lower their inhibitions and force them to feel relaxed, which can help them in letting out their true feelings.
Why You Might Cry After Orgasm?
The feeling of guilt or shame
If you have feelings of shame or guilt associated with sex, then that can come out in the form of tears post-coital. Some mothers might feel that they don't deserve to take a moment to enjoy themselves and instead should focus on their children.
Tears of joy
If you have sex after a long time, you can expect some tears of satisfaction or happiness. For some women, sex is a deeply intimate experience and can feel highly connected to their partner. This can trigger happy tears after an orgasm.
What To Do If I Cry During Or After Sex?
Crying during sex or after an orgasm is an indication to acknowledge your deeper feelings. You should recognise these powerful cues and try to address them. If it's a good kind of cry that brings you happiness, talking to your partner and telling them how you feel can make you feel powerful.
If your tears are coming from a negative reason, talking to a professional therapist can help you address those issues and reach clarity. Psychotherapists can help you resolve sexual problems that stem from trauma, anger or anxiety. If a woman is experiencing repeat episodes of pain during and after sex, then it is important to consult your gynaecologist.
What To Do If Your Partner Cries During Or After Sex?
Seeing your partner cry after sex can be confusing. However, it is essential to interact with your partner and learn about their feelings.
- Talk to your partner and ask them if something is wrong. Try not to sound accusatory and trigger them.
- If your partner is willing to talk, lend them a helping ear and try to comfort them if possible.
- It is crucial to respect their boundaries if they aren't ready to talk about the reasons behind their emotions.
How To Make A Man Cry During Sex?
Sex is a two-person activity. While your pleasure is essential, so is that of your partner. There are numerous ways to make a man cry in bed, making him come back for more. Concentrating on his erogenous zones, spicing it up between the sheets, using the correct lighting, and setting the mood- all these things play an integral role in making sexual intercourse exciting and enticing. However, always make sure that consent is given and use protection to avoid unwanted pregnancy.
Summing Up... Crying Sex for You
Crying after sex can stem from several reasons such as depression, lowering of inhibitions, guilt, shame, pain and hormonal imbalances. However, this is a completely normal phenomenon among men and women and is nothing to be ashamed of. Make sure to communicate with your partner and attempt to convey your emotions with clarity after sexual intercourse.
Should you be worried if you cry after sex or during orgasm?
No, you should definitely not worry about crying after sex or during orgasm. However, if you feel like crying due to pain or discomfort because of your partner, make sure to stop immediately. Express what you are feeling and correct it. Sex should be pleasurable for both people involved, not painful.
Also read: Pain after first time sex
References
Robert D Schweitzer, Jessica O'Brien (2015) Postcoital Dysphoria: Prevalence and Psychological Correlates (Sexual Medicine) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4721025/
Navneet Magon, Sanjay Kalra (2011) The orgasmic history of oxytocin: Love, lust, and labor (Indian Journal Of Endocrinology and Metabolism) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3183515/
